(If you have kids over 8, read on. If they're under 8, read on anyway...)
Anyone with school-going kids is aware that life has changed so radically from what it was even ten years ago, that we can barely grasp the pressures they face, what our kids know and what they don't. In the "good old days" school holidays looked something like this: We wolfed down our breakfast, disappeared out of the house, made a brief appearance back home for lunch, and were not seen again until dusk, usually emerging filthy-dirty, tired and happy. We rode bicycles and trains to school, listened to LM radio, saved up our money to buy LP's, climbed trees and built huts, caught birds in box traps (of course we always released them unharmed) and bees in bottles, played french cricket, kicked rugby and soccer balls (and each other) around, and sometimes bunked school and got hidings.
Today, many South African kids are surrounded by high walls with electric fences, watch cartoon T.V, SMS their friends from their own mobile phones, spend hours talking on your landline, on MSN messenger and internet chat rooms. And for the most part we overworked, often absent parents have little idea what they are actually up to.
I am a firm believer in teaching kids to make their own decisions and trusting that for the most part they'll make the right ones, and when they make the wrong ones they'll learn from their mistakes. However these freedoms need to be carefully balanced against the maturity of the child and the immense curiosity factor associated with the internet. The fact is, children as young as 8 years old can get absolutely any information they want, any time, if they have access to a computer with an ISDN or ADSL line. And dialling up ain't too complicated either.
The power of peer pressure to be "in" and "cool" is as pronounced now as it ever was in the sixties and seventies if not more so. And that is exactly who they'll be listening to if you aren't around for your kids this festive season - their "cool" friends.
As parents, "being there" isn't enough. We can "be there" all day watching television, and they don't get any of us. Be with them. Play with them, love them, share meals with them, show them you care by giving them that special commodity that they can never get enough of - you and your time.
And here's a word of caution from a parent of a 12-year-old who knows how to build websites (the kid, that is...) - if your kid has access to an online computer, I strongly urge you to be aware of which websites he/she is visiting. It takes a few minutes for a smart kid to log in to any number of undesirable sites - simply out of curiosity. So, do not be afraid to limit time access or restrict the websites your child may visit (there are ways of doing this - your service provider or IT boff will be able to help you set this up simply). Thirty minutes to an hour per day is usually sufficient to do what needs to be done on the net. It is also advised to know the parents of the children your child visits and to confirm that their rules correspond with yours, and that there is a responsible adult present. If your child is in the care of a computer-illiterate babysitter for the evening, you may want to know that your child does not enjoy internet carte blanche - it takes less than a minute for them to visit sites you don't even know exist!
In 2005 there will be more horror stories emerging about what juveniles are getting up to on the internet than you can begin to imagine - and your kid can get drawn into it in a matter of days.
I'm the furthest thing from a paranoid parent, and I'm not asking you to be, but be present and be aware. Your child's future is dependant on the grounding they're getting now - best if it's from you.
