I have been fascinated for years about the ability of the human mind to develop patterns of behaviour that are memorised by our cells enabling us to develop skills and repeat behaviours with increasing success the more we try. Take a football star like Ronaldinho, who at a young age is able to walk on to a football pitch and play miraculous soccer week after week. Or Shane Warne with a cricket ball, Tiger Woods with his golf clubs, Roger Federer with a tennis racquet, or any discipline requiring honing of skills to near perfection. These people have trained every cell in their bodies to repeatedly perform to a certain level of excellence when called upon to do so, making them virtually unbeatable, and huge streams of income in the process.
I'm equally fascinated by how this advantage can work against us, creating negative behaviours and deadly addictions. Naturally, I'm referring to a phenomenon referred to as habits, which develops instinctivly in animals but manifests in a more complex manner in mankind.
There are so many influences that we experience as young people, giving us behavioural choices, some of which we make without being mindful of the consequences. A good example of this is swearing, a habit we can fall in to very easily in the playground, with some additional prompting from TV, and often the adults we look up to for guidance. Once the swearing habit is established, it becomes very difficult to break. The same can be said for negativity, lateness or overeating to mention but a few. In a more serious vein, addictions such as smoking, gambling and alcoholism are established by repitition developing into a habit. The tendency which is so often our friend, in this instance becomes a deadly and life threatending enemy.
A bad habit can be described as any habit that does not serve you positively. A good habit is the converse. Logically then, if we were free thinking humans, one would think that at some stage in our lives, hopefully sooner rather than later, we would focus on developing a string of good, useful healthy habits that serve us well? Nothing could be further from reality. We spend our lives falling in to a combination of habits quite randomly, establishing many bad habits in the process. We then attempt to overcome or rid ourselves of the now established bad habits periodically, usually finding that they won't go away that easily now. Defeat often comes swiftly, and we sink back in to what we know - testimony to the extraordinary power of the established habit. If you were to think of your morning routine, you probably do things in the same order practically every morning! One would hope that most of that routine includes good things like brushing teeth, washing and eating a wholesome breakfast.
Here, however, is the good news. Old leopards may not be able to change their spots, but people of all ages can rid themselves of bad habits. Here are 7 beliefs that you need to commit to before you ever think of changing a bad habit. Please believe me, I have emails from people who have attended my talks who testify that these seven steps resulted in the successful purging of addictions such as smoking, some after numerous previous attempts. Here they are, then, the seven beliefs necessary to change habits:
1. It is imperative that I change - there is no other option.
2. I must link a strong value to the change.
3. I must change the habit now
4. I am fully responsible for eliminating this habit completely.
5. I can change and it will be effortless.
6. It is never too late for change
7. I'm committed to changing and maintaining the change.
Too often we rely on the collusion of others to eliminate our bad habits. This often results in disappointment. It gives us a back door and shows a lack of personal commitment. When we are not committed we justify our failure to change with excuses. We give in to temptation or peer pressure, and our lack of a higher value, or a solid reason tests our resolve.
Good habits, on the other hand are equally hard to break as they are rewarded by the feelings of well being that they illicit. Doesn't it make a whole lot of sense, therefore, to resolve to make your habits your friends. It gives you so much more time to suck the essence from the life you've been given...in ever increasing quantities!
Paul du Toit.
